It is basically all families and couples who form our entire world.
We must therefore develop our relationship with each other in a small scale before we turn to our fellow beings – or is it actually the other way around? I personally haven’t got any problems with loving my friends, girlfriends and family. But I know that a lot of people do. Have you ever heard of the boyfriend who tends to slap his girlfriend? Or the father who’s beating his wife and/or son – or even just being generally rude and would rather overwork instead of being with his family? – (What I call mental violence)
And I try my hardest (of course still under development) to show love to any stranger I meet. But then again, I know a lot of people who treat their loved ones with respect, but tend to growl at anyone who dares to threaten them. So their first reaction to a stranger + their loved ones is distrust – and distrust, my ladies and gentlemen, is one of love’s arch enemies. So how do we develop a strong and healthy form of love to our nearest and furthest fellow beings?
Whoa! Take it easy – I thought to myself. Firstly I think it is important to define love.A wise teacher and kind friend of mine once said “love is when we dare to be vulnerable in one another’s presence”. – And I think he hit the nail on the head right there. Think about it; when we truly love someone, the ultimate sign thereof is to open up our hearts and expect its content to be fully respected. – So just to find the root of this feeling: leads us to the essence of love (as I see it) trust à vulnerability à love! And on top of that, respect must always be involved.
And as pretty much everybody agrees on money to be the key factor for a society to survive, we must remember who make the money – the people! And what makes people able to live? Love! Therefore love should come before money in any society.
Learning “universal” love
It is time for a wise sentence that has been used by many wise men throughout the years.
“We are all the same. Same right to live a happy life. Same need of food, water and sleep to exist. Same basic potential. Religion, country, sex, appearance are all secondary. Therefore we must embrace each stranger, as if they were brothers and sisters, because we all are!” – (And no, that does not mean that we all exercise incest all the time;))
When I feel that I’m starting to build up aggression towards another – I simply stop myself and say “Hey! Yes, he might have a stupid opinion or behavior, but he still has the right to a happy life, and he doesn’t get that if I build up negative energy towards about him.” – And it usually works! The lazy delivery-guy is just a young man who tries to survive the tough labor. The annoyed police-officer is just yet another family dad – trying to provide his closest with hot water and bread. It takes some time to get used to this kind of “mental state”, but it gets much more comfortable living like this in the long run. But along with all of this, it is of course allowed to correct or inform others about their negative behavior, but do it with manner! Do it with a calm voice and a smile:)
And when this mindset is… set – trust comes as a natural spawn hereof.
We must learn to give each other some great experiences in bed and in our everyday life. Good sex releases substances in the brain that produce energy, joy, can ease stress and headaches. Do you and your husband have a clumsy sex-life? Just listen to, read and watch the many stories out there, that show how a couple’s life can turn from “we don’t want to tire ourselves with sex after a long day of work” to “we don’t mind a long work-day because we know that we’re going to have great sex afterwards”. (Maybe these stories are more accepted by the mainstream in Denmark, but you get the point;))
And if you have absolutely no idea of how to improve your sex-life – go see a sexologist! Don’t be ashamed about it, be aroused and embrace your new learning’s and discoveries. But most important of all – communicate with each other about it! We don’t want that childish “I’m too proud to appear weak” – thing.
When it comes to love at a more spiritual level, we need to have a look at compassion.
I will try my hardest to get a “compassion” post up as soon as possible :)
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Dearest but tired thoughts